What Marvelous Dust Doth Fall Here

Something Clever Goes Here

189 notes

DM:
You want to play 'The Sound of Silence' on a... blade of grass?
Paladin:
Yeah.
DM:
You'll need to make three checks. Roll for Craft, a Bluff check to maintain your disguise, and a Perform.
Paladin:
*Rolls an 3, a 20, and a 3*
DM:
You go to pluck a blade of grass, but instead of neatly grabbing just one, you pull up a chunk of turf and have to shake the dirt off the end. Your Paladin turns and gives the enemy commander a 'I'm about to rock your world' look - he seems into it, surprisingly. She brings the blade of grass up to her lips, and...
Paladin:
And?
DM:
*makes a raspberry noise*

490 notes

maahammy:

weird al yankovic came on tv and my dad is like ‘his name is weird al something……..and boy is he weird’ and he just sat down and was completely quiet as if he was having a flashback to a darker time and it was just hilarious 

(via what-is-this-i-dont-even)

2,890 notes

awez-im-gohst:

My favorite thing about Tina is that she says all the weird shit that I remember thinking when I was her age but instead of being ostracized for saying them her family and friends are basically like yup that’s Tina you go Tina.

(Source: officerockparks, via memewhore)